‘eye of the beholder’

no one says anything about the ugly, not unless there’s something beautiful after. what if there’s nothing that’s beautiful, what if we just keep having ugly after ugly; can we wash off and become beautiful. the proverbs say, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, but who is your beholder, who picks you up when they ugly is washed physically, but still hurting you internally!

when we’re so torn and beaten down with trying t help someone and they won’t take responsibility for themselves, when they can’t dig out of the pit they’re in; who is their beholder…Pride!

no one says anything about the ugly, not unless there’s something beautiful after. what if there’s nothing that’s beautiful, what if we just keep having ugly after ugly; can we wash off and become beautiful. they say, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but who is your beholder.

who picks you up when they ugly is washed physically, but still hurting you internally! let’s make that an, “I do”. when you speak to the one who created you and then you know who helped you wash the ugly.

unwritten and updates

We’ve now made the move to NC and are settled in and getting comfortable. The job that I wanted to transfer from was going to be too far to drive so I am interviewing and sending resumes out.

In the meanwhile, I’ve spent time discovering new things about myself and dealing with some old baggage. YHVH\God has provided in every situation that we have encountered rough waters. It’s quite an expense moving from state to state if your company or the military doesn’t pay for everything.

I’ve been listening to a song called Unwritten for a few weeks now and it pretty much says all my thoughts..yes, I feel very Unwritten and even though I know the Father has a plan for me, I believe I need to have a plan of Purpose for my life. The song and lyrics are here if you’d like to have a listen:


adjust your vision

Do you ever see something that looks like it’s strange or you think maybe you’ve not seen it before? Upon close inspection, however, you will notice that it’s quite normal and you’ve seen it hundreds of times before.

While cleaning the washroom one afternoon I spotted a lady’s face, it was in the vinyl above the bathtub. While I had never seen it before after living there for over 5 years, now I suddenly started seeing it and I could Not see it, even if I tried. I always find that humorous.

I woke up this morning thinking, I’ve never known who I am, not in my entire life.

Lately, things are becoming so clear to me, so clear in fact, that it’s hard to differentiate between whether I’m seeing through a glass or seeing the natural.

I’ve always believed in seeing the good in others; actually, it’s not as much an intended thought as it is a way of life for me. I just never saw that people are ‘inherently evil’, now I know that’s what the Bible tells us in Psalms 51: 5 – “In evil, I was formed in the womb and in sin, my mother conceived me.”

A few days later I saw the Torah Portion for this week and I’ll share it here…amazing how so many thoughts I have seem to be shared by others at the same time.

Seeing With Spiritual Eyes

one day…

my life has been pretty unsettled but one day I’ll be writing again…please bear with me.

just because we aren’t visible does not mean we aren’t valuable..

the invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are, I want to know if you are willing to risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine. It doesn’t interest me where you live or how rich you are.

I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and be sweet to the ones you love.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments of your life.

Oriana Mountain Dreamer


Eternal Treasures

I started thinking about broken back in 2012, when many of my personal belongings kept getting broken, through moves from one place to another. I always felt like I really had nothing but I did have some remnants of my childhood that I held tightly, because my memories of childhood have been long gone for dozens of years. I felt so empty and I wanted to remember my childhood so badly, back then.

Now I long or things that will further me in my life beyond broken things and broken dreams, beyond feeling broken by the world, far beyond anything this world could ever replace. I re-member the Promises He made to further my own walk:

Abba gave me promises that revolve around cherishing things that cannot be broken or lost. Through insights and traumas, He has brought to light, that you have treasures eternal in your possession that no physical things can ever take the place of.

my dear one…

“The goal of the web is to engage you, to get you to click, scroll, double tap, laugh, cry, and share, to get you to stay up late online and then wake up in the morning and do it all over again.” This quote brings to mind who I am, what do I do all day long. I know I’m not on the social media very much but things on there influence my thoughts and my actions.

Things posted like video’s, those pictures with quotes, personality tests, quizzes that dig into my facebook to see the most likely personal comments that people share with me. You know they use those for the determination of said quiz, don’t you? Indeed it’s sad to say, that I too am influenced by those things. You know what that is, don’t you? It’s because we don’t know what our Creator thinks of us and then if we do, maybe we don’t believe it. Yes, I do, I believe it to a certain degree and then my mind strays on to other reasons why He cannot possibly love me, others who say they do, they don’t really and if they did then why won’t they talk to me or visit me. Why do they say they will but never have the time. Why do I feel like I have to beg them to come for a visit, they drive past my residence many times, sometimes more than once a day and they never stop to say Hi, I’m never invited to their homes, others always are.

How do I forgive myself, why would I need to forgive them? Forgiveness should not be about popularity and who is ‘chose’ to come for dinner and why in 7 years my family has never been chosen, except by one family many years ago. Does right or wrong matter, really?

I don’t have answers, I trust the Holy Spirit in me and I know when Yeshua is telling me to go or stay away.


dear self…

One day I will be able to forgive all the mistakes you made.

I know it is hurting you, causing your maturity and your growth in Torah to suffer.

Your unforgiveness keeps you unclean and it would be great if you knew you had a clean Spirit.

It also keeps you from stronger, closer relationship with Yeshua/YHVH.

This unforgiveness is so hard for you and I don’t know why you would want to hold onto it.

~you’re all I need~

what is the unwasted life?

Our lives belong to God, and he has the right to take us any time he chooses. Few things make me tremble more than the possibility of taking this onetime gift of life and wasting it.

To hear the words of Yeshua/Jesus: (Matthew 16:24–26)

Then Yeshua told his talmidim, “If anyone wants to come after me, let him say `No’ to himself, take up his execution-stake, and keep following me. For whoever wants to save his own life will destroy it, but whoever destroys his life for my sake will find it. What good will it do someone if he gains the whole world but forfeits his life? Or, what can a person give in exchange for his life?” 

It is possible to waste your life? I believe from the world that I’ve experienced in my 57 years that it is more than possible to waste your life. I know many who are working and spending every dollar they make on drinking, drugs, disorders that they suffer with. It wouldn’t take much to pass on those drinks or drugs and take the money to help another or a family. Sadly, I say, too many only think of giving when it’s during the holidays or thanksgiving or christmas. Stop thinking of your own satisfaction and start thinking of others, all year long. Eventually, we learn to stop feeling like we’ve wasted our lives and hopefully, we can see beyond ourselves and start seeing the need and greatest desire that Yeshua/Jesus has for our lives.

It’s not our own selfish motive and that feeling of “tired of feeling wasted”, there is more. So, let’s take a look at (Matthew 25:31-40) 

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, accompanied by all the angels, he will sit on his glorious throne. 
All the nations will be assembled before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates sheep from goats. 
The `sheep’ he will place at his right hand and the `goats’ at his left. 
“Then the King will say to those on his right, `Come, you whom my Father has blessed, take your inheritance, the Kingdom prepared for you from the founding of the world. 
For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you made me your guest, 
I needed clothes and you provided them, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ 
Then the people who have done what God wants will reply, `Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 
When did we see you a stranger and make you our guest, or needing clothes and provide them?
When did we see you sick or in prison, and visit you?’ 
The King will say to them, `Yes! I tell you that whenever you did these things for one of the least important of these brothers of mine, you did them for me!’
For me that alone is enough reason to stop padding our pockets with dollars (or whatever your currency is called) and start padding the lives of those around you who may need your help.
(Psalm 121:2) says this:
My help comes from ADONAI (the LORD), the maker of heaven and earth.
The great passion of the unwasted life is to magnify YHVH/God in keeping with His instructions.