The Gentlest Souls

I remember the day he asked me to please forgive him, we both bawled like babies. It humbled me to the core. I was hurting so much but I didn’t care, I never wanted to see him on his knees in front of me with tears streaming down his face. He looked so tired and exhausted. He was a true friend. Frank Houtz. I called him my Rabbi, but he didn’t care for the title. He often said, “I’m just a teacher”.

On February 20, 2019 his life ended due to an abrupt heart attack. It wasn’t really a shock to me, many times when I worked at the school, which was where our group met for Sabbath studies, Holy Days and Feast and Festivals of the Bible, I would see how terribly he struggled to get up the stairs of his office. We spent so much time talking and he shared so many amazing, yet hilarious stories with me.

My sister passed only five months before Frank on September 18, 2018. Her death was also an abrupt heart attack; which she and I had talked quite frequently about. I knew what she wanted for the end of her life. I was never allowed to have any expression of what she asked me to tell her son and his family. It was all so sad and they’ve blocked all communication between us and them. I continue to move forward and seek more for myself and for my daughter.

Just a week or so ago, Franks mother passed away at the age of 97. I’m so happy for her and grateful for the many memories we shared in over the past 10 years that I have known the Houtz family. Now I’m watching from afar as the two eldest Houtz have children and raise them.

All I can think to share is, make the best of the best times you have now.


Published by Nancy

I’m a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a writer, a friend. I cook, clean, work, teach, study, live, love and laugh, but when it’s all said and done, I still feel empty. I want what I can’t have, I’ve wanted it for a long time but it was taken. I thought to myself, the desire for it should go away now that I’ve prayed…I’ve cried, begged, pleaded and even pretended it wasn’t there; I cry out to God and beg Him to please just take this from me, do something to strip me of the earthly desires, of the evil in my heart and nothing happens…it’s still there and some days it’s hard to swallow and suck down the tears inside, it hurts so much and in one brief moment, it could all be gone so quickly! He gives me words to bless others with and release my own thoughts.

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