Renewing Life

Just wanted to share this: I’ve been searching for years for relief of a very abusive past, from early childhood until I was 43 years old. The past years, nearly 5 now, I’ve had someone guiding and mentoring me and showing me ways that I can let go of the past through Torah. This journey of healing has not been an easy one.

I’m not finished yet but I can honestly say that I am so sick of the past, of the abuse, the rapes, the attacks from grown men who were supposed to be leaders and co-workers, the times of eating to stay fat so no man would have any desire to look at me.

I’ve given everything to God/Yahweh who loves me and reveres and is in Awe of me because He created me. I believe in forgiving with immediacy. Don’t allow yourself to have that second thought and turn to having pain and a broken spirit all of your lives. No matter the depth of hurt you are feeling, forgiveness should not be an option. I know how it hurts, I know how hard it can be. I am so willing to reach out to others and help them the way I’ve been helped, I will do my best to be an example that is pleasing in the eyes of my Abba.

What has happened to you is not your fault, #1 lesson. Who you are is not defined by what has been done to you, #2 lesson. Learn to look at the tragedies as somehow, someway, being blessings, so that you can grow and become mature for Others. Stay out of your own way, allow God to work in you, through you; allow Him or another person you trust to be a tent peg for you (someone to help ground you for a time).

This feels like enough to share for now. If you are serious about making changes in your life, permanent changes or if you have been praying for yourself or another and you feel you have earnestly prayed and need some reinforcement, contact me if you feel like you can. email me:

I AM Changed, I am an overcomer, I am Redeemed…

Published by Nancy

I’m a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a writer, a friend. I cook, clean, work, teach, study, live, love and laugh, but when it’s all said and done, I still feel empty. I want what I can’t have, I’ve wanted it for a long time but it was taken. I thought to myself, the desire for it should go away now that I’ve prayed…I’ve cried, begged, pleaded and even pretended it wasn’t there; I cry out to God and beg Him to please just take this from me, do something to strip me of the earthly desires, of the evil in my heart and nothing happens…it’s still there and some days it’s hard to swallow and suck down the tears inside, it hurts so much and in one brief moment, it could all be gone so quickly! He gives me words to bless others with and release my own thoughts.

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