A Tireless Endurance

She comes to me and says,
I’m depressed. I stay up all night and watch tv
I sleep all day because I cannot
bear loneliness in the night

I cannot bear the silence
or the days of light
the dark is what I long for the time when I close my eyes
and the nothing in there it hides.

it’s like the veil covering over
the darkness inside
like a curtain that closes
so I don’t see the outside.

I cannot even cry anymore
the hurt is so deeply rooted
or I’m so numb from the inside
The tears won’t flow
Pain won’t come out

I’ve kept myself silent
for so long this burning,
yearning this tireless endurance
for Him to come

it has me worn thin
much more than a veil
almost like shattering
yet more like a hell

the words I should say to her
I can’t seem to find
the impression of her heart
an expression of mine

but I can’t say those
it would be so unkind
taking advantage of her heart
by unleashing mine

how are the words
i love you never enough for
all they see is brokenness

a heart scorned
she yells and screams
and they’ll never understand
you took my Son!

and with their lashes
she watched him bleed
with the thorns they
impaled into his head.

He never once cried or even begged a plea.

she cried out No, No, No!
he is mine and his Fathers
the most sublime
without a whimper or worry
he just hung there to bleed

how can I say these words to her
she who feels this
life is so hard
when she’s so hurt,so anguished

why can we not see
that our weeping our sobbing and tears
are nothing that can compare
to the torture and torment
the price he paid

On that scheduled day in a life He made

Published by Nancy

I’m a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a writer, a friend. I cook, clean, work, teach, study, live, love and laugh, but when it’s all said and done, I still feel empty. I want what I can’t have, I’ve wanted it for a long time but it was taken. I thought to myself, the desire for it should go away now that I’ve prayed…I’ve cried, begged, pleaded and even pretended it wasn’t there; I cry out to God and beg Him to please just take this from me, do something to strip me of the earthly desires, of the evil in my heart and nothing happens…it’s still there and some days it’s hard to swallow and suck down the tears inside, it hurts so much and in one brief moment, it could all be gone so quickly! He gives me words to bless others with and release my own thoughts.

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