dear self…

One day I will be able to forgive all the mistakes you made.

I know it is hurting you, causing your maturity and your growth in Torah to suffer.

Your unforgiveness keeps you unclean and it would be great if you knew you had a clean Spirit.

It also keeps you from stronger, closer relationship with Yeshua/YHVH.

This unforgiveness is so hard for you and I don’t know why you would want to hold onto it.

~you’re all I need~

My One Desire

Developing a closer relationship with our Abba Father reflects a heart that is truly reborn, for only those who are in His Spirit desire a closer relationship with Him. In this life we will never be as close to Yeshua as we ought to be, or maybe even as we desire to be and the reason for this is from my own point of view, it’s the lingering of sin in our lives or that we aren’t letting go of self in order to Do all that He has asked of us.  This is not a deficiency on His part, but on ours; our sin remains a barrier to the full and complete fellowship with the Father which will be realized once we’re in glory.

No matter where we are in our walk with our Abba, we can always have a closer walk; and even in the new earth, we will have all eternity to grow in our relationship with the Him.

To have a closer relationship with Abba is to make a daily habit of confessing our sin to Him. Our sin is what drives a wedge in our relationship with Him and our confession removes that wedge. He promises to forgive us in

1 John 1:9, 10 If we acknowledge our sins, then, since he is trustworthy and just, he will forgive them and purify us from all wrongdoing. If we claim we have not been sinning, we are making him out to be a liar, and his Word is not in us.  

Forgiveness is what restores a relationship that has been hard-pressed or strained. Confession is a heartfelt response of those who recognize that their sin is an offense to our Father. It is the confession of one who realizes that his sin is what nailed Yeshua to the cross. We must learn to listen when He speaks. The Apostle Peter tells us that we have the prophetic word.

2 Peter 1:19 -Yes, we have the prophetic Word made very certain. You will do well to pay attention to it as to a light shining in a dark, murky place, until the Day dawns and the Morning Star rises in your hearts.

That “more sure prophetic word” is in the Bible where we hear His voice say to us. It is through the Divine-breathed Scriptures that we become in order to grow closer to Him, we should read His Word regularly.

The Word tells that when we belong to God, we must be thoroughly equipped for every good work in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 

The Gospels records Yeshua hiding Himself away to commune with his Father in prayer (much like I do myself). Prayer is much more than simply a way to ask Him for things we need or want. Prayer is a way to have continual daily chats with Him and learn to see Him in us and all that we do. We can have a closer relationship with Him by finding a body of believers with whom we can regularly worship.  The Psalms show us many calls from YHVH to His people to come and worship the with Him.

Psalm 95:1-2 – Come, let’s sing to Him! Let’s shout for joy to the Rock of our salvation! Let’s come into his presence with thanksgiving; let’s shout for joy to him with songs of praise.

Our Heavenly Father invites and commands us to come into His presence for worship. Not only does fellowship with believers give us an opportunity to come before the Messiah’s presence in worship, but as we come into the house of the Yah in worship and fellowship with His people, we can’t help but grow closer to Him as a result.

Yeshua told His disciples in the upper room:

John 14:23-25 -Yeshua answered him, “If someone loves me, he will keep my word; and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with Him. Someone who doesn’t love me doesn’t keep my words — and the word you are hearing is not my own but that of the Father who sent me. I have told you these things while I am still with you.

In James 4:7-10 – he tells us, Therefore, submit to God. Moreover, take a stand against the Adversary, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and he will come close to you. Clean your hands, sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded people! Wail, mourn, sob! Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy into gloom!  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Paul tells us in Romans that our obedience is our “living sacrifice” of thanksgiving to the Most High.

Romans 12:1-5 – I exhort you, therefore, brothers, in view of God’s mercies, to offer yourselves as a sacrifice, living and set apart for God. This will please him; it is the logical “Temple worship” for you.  In other words, do not let yourselves be conformed to the standards of the world. Instead, keep letting yourselves be transformed by the renewing of your minds; so that you will know what God wants and will agree that what he wants is good, satisfying and able to succeed. For I am telling every single one of you, through the grace that has been given to me, not to have exaggerated ideas about your own importance. Instead, develop a sober estimate of yourself based on the standard which God has given to each of you, namely, trust. For just as there are many parts that compose one body, but the parts don’t all have the same function; so there are many of us, and in union with the Messiah we comprise one body, with each of us belonging to the others.


All biblical references to obedience are presented as our response to the grace of our Father we receive in salvation. We don’t earn salvation through our obedience; rather it is the way we show our love and gratitude toward YHVH. Our relationship with Yeshua is twofold, whenever we draw close, He draws closer to us.

Isaiah 26:9 – At night I long for you with all my heart; when you judge the same earth and its people, they will all learn what justice is.

It is my One desire to draw closer to the Most High Yahweh and do service for Him. To be as a helpful child.

Intimacy With My Creator

It’s fairly simple to notice other people filling the void in their lives with all the wrong things. It’s much harder, though, to see that same error in our own redeemed lives. We all, too often, get busy for our Father—serving, singing, teaching, preaching, and going to the mission field. None of these things are wrong, in fact, they’re all good. But they’re often a misguided attempt to create a false sense of intimacy with Him.

Why would any believer choose artificial closeness with YHVH/God when He wants to give His children the real thing? Two reasons: first, being known by HIM requires intense vulnerability and the humility to receive His grace. There is nothing we can do for YHVH or give to Him that will excuse our sins. Second, all successful friendships require hard work, and that holds true for our relationship with YHVH as well.

To really know the Him, you have to read the Bible – all of it. A person cannot maintain a close relationship with the Father if they ignore His Instructions/His Laws. You must, therefore, not fill your mind with worldly things and influences. In addition, a vibrant prayer life is essential to intimacy with YHVH. These things don’t just happen; they require intentional effort.

Simply put, when we satisfy our thirst with The Living Water, we’re no longer thirsty. When we live in intimate communion with our Father, the temptation to strive for wholeness in our own strength falls away. Our service, offerings, and worship, stripped of any self-serving motives, genuinely glorify the Almighty.

Psalms 63:1-11:

A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah. O Elohim, thou art my El; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

To see thy power and thy honour, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.

Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.

Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.

By soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:

When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches. Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.

My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.

But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth.

They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes.

But the king shall rejoice in Elohim; every one that swear by him shall boast: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped. To the chief Musician.

11 Ways To Re-ignite Your Passion For Scriptures

1.  Grow in a love relationship with the Author of Scripture
2. Develop a personal relationship with YHVH/GOD
3. Approach your Bible reading with worshipful awe
4. Consider it an amazing privilege to read and study the Scripture
5. Develop a real interest as you read a portion of Scripture
6. Ask the YHVH to give you true joy as you read the Scriptures
7. Find a quiet place and time to spend quality time reading the Scripture
8. Begin your time in the Bible with prayer, asking for His interpretation to be made known to you.
9. Examine the Bible portion carefully and prayerfully
10. Determine to read for spiritual benefit from the Lord
11. Always remember that you are seeking to know God’s will and obey it.

All great ideas! I think the biggest one we all struggle with is, Doing His Will once we know it.  Oftentimes, it conflicts with how we live or desire to live.

Growing and Changing

As we grow and change, we should be able to have hope that people would want to get to know us as renewed and not always think we are reverting to the past. This is what I’ve experienced lately…if I say anything that remotely resembles the past, it gets thrown back at me.


I’m doing things I enjoy.  I’m doing things I always thought the Father wanted me to be doing. I was introduced to ministering with others when I was 16 years old by my father, even before that age. I’ve always LOVED doing this but sometimes we have to minister to our own needs first.
WE can’t love someone else and help them, if we’re so distraught that we cannot take care of ourselves and our own needs. There have been parts of this walk that I’ve HAD to do alone, and it was hard having to leave my family behind, but they understood and they didn’t feel like I was abandoning them or leaving them out. They shared in the same experiences with me a few weeks later.
I’m still going to make mistakes, I’ll still have someone that’s angry or upset with me because maybe I misunderstand or maybe they do. I’m not going to be perfect and I’m shooting for perfection. I am only aiming to please our Most High, our Elohim (God).
Please don’t assume the worst about someone because their lives change or they are growing into a new understanding…it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it means they love you more clearly, through the Father’s understanding. I cannot be everything to everyone but I can be the daughter of my King, who I was created to be.

Why I Observe The 7th Day Sabbath

Reason #1: My Creator did

In the beginning Elohim created the heavens and the earth.
Genesis 1:1

Thus the heavens and the earth were completed, and all their array.
And on the seventh day Elohim completed His work which He had done, 

and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had made.
And Elohim blessed the seventh day and set it apart

because on it He rested from all His work 
which Elohim in creating had made.” Genesis 2:1-3

Our Father, our Creator, set the pattern, the example, the principle for us.
A time to cease from work, a time to review, acknowledge,
celebrate the beauty of the creation that He pronounced “good”.

It belongs to Him from the very beginning.
The 7th day Sabbath honors, remembers, Elohim {God}, YHVH, as our Creator.
He blessed the 7th day and declared it holy, set apart to Himself.

The Sabbath distinguishes YHVH from false gods.
It identifies WHO we worship…
The Creator, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Reason #2: It was reaffirmed in the Ten Commandments

Remember the Sabbath day, to set it apart.
Six days you labour, and shall do all your work,
but the seventh day is a Sabbath of {YHVH}  יהוה your Elohim

You do not do any work – you, nor your son, nor your daughter, 
nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, 
nor your stranger who is within your gates. 
For in six days יהוה made the heavens and the earth, the sea, 

and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day
Therefore {YHVH}  יהוה blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart.
Exodus 20:8-11 (Deuteronomy. 5:12, too)

The 7th day is the sabbath of YHVHnot the Jews… but of YHVH.
The cattle were not Jewish, neither were the strangers,
yet, He commands them all to remember the Sabbath.

Guard the Sabbath day, to set it apart
as {YHVH}  יהוה your Elohim commanded you.
Six days you labour, and shall do all your work, 

but the seventh day is a Sabbath of יהוה your Elohim
You do not do any work – you, nor your son, nor your daughter, 
nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your ox, nor your donkey, 
nor any of your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates, 
so that your male servant and your female servant rest as you do.  
And you shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Mitsrayim {Egypt}, 
and that יהוה your Elohim brought you out from there 
by a strong hand and by an outstretched arm. 

Therefore יהוה your Elohim commanded you to observe the Sabbath day. 
Deuteronomy 5:12-15

The Sabbath reminds of the Exodus from Egypt,
which is an example and picture of His salvation.

Reason #3: Blessed

“Jew”, “NON-Jew”, stranger alike… is blessed in keeping this command.

Thus said {YHVH}  יהוה, “Guard right-ruling, and do righteousness, 

for near is My deliverance to come, and My righteousness to be revealed. 
Blessed is the man who does this, and the son of man who lays hold on it
guarding the Sabbath lest he profane it, 
and guarding his hand from doing any evil…
 … Also the sons of the foreigner who join themselves to {YHVH}  יהוה, 
to serve Him, and to love the Name of {YHVH}  יהוה, to be His servants, 

all who guard the Sabbath, and not profane it, and hold fast to My covenant
Isaiah 56:1-2, 6

If you do turn back your foot from the Sabbath, 

from doing your pleasure on My set-apart day, 
and shall call the Sabbath ‘a delight,’  
the set-apart day of {YHVH}  יהוה ‘esteemed,’ and shall esteem it
not doing your own ways, nor finding your own pleasure, 
nor speaking your own words,
then you shall delight yourself in {YHVH}  יהוה. 
And I shall cause you to ride on the heights of the earth, 
and feed you with the inheritance of Yaʽaqoḇ your father. 

For the mouth of {YHVH}  יהוה has spoken!
Isaiah 58:13-14

It’s supposed to be a delight. It is His set apart day… esteemed/honored.

Reason #4: It will be observed in the time to come

For as the new heavens and the new earth that I make stand before Me, 

declares {YHVH}  יהוה, so your seed and your name shall stand.
And it shall be that from New Moon to New Moon, 

and from Sabbath to Sabbath

all flesh shall come to worship before Me, declares {YHVH}  יהוה. 
Isaiah 66:22-23

Sabbath observance in the new heaven and earth…
… in the beginning… and in the end… what happened to in between?

Reason #5: It is a sign between Him and His people

I am {YHVH}  יהוה your Elohim. Walk in My laws, and guard My right-rulings, and do them.
And set apart My Sabbaths, and they shall be a sign between Me and you

to know that I am יהוה your Elohim.
Ezekiel 20:19-20

It is HIS Sabbath, not any particular people’s.
It is a sign between Him and His people, that they/we will know HE is our God.

He ordained it, blessed it, set it apart, set the pattern for it,
commanded it, reminded of it, called it His, and blesses those that keep it.


And His Son? He came to do the Father’s will…

{Yeshua}  יהושע said to them, 

“My food is to do the desire {will} of Him who sent Me, 

and to accomplish His work.” ~ John 4:34

Reason #6: The Son – The Messiah – kept the Sabbath.

And He came to Natsareth {Nazareth}, where He had been brought up. 

And according to His practice, He went into the congregation  

on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read.
Luke 4:16

And they went into Kephar Nahum {Capernaum},
and immediately on the Sabbath He went into the congregation and taught.”
Mark 1:21

And Sabbath having come, He began to teach in the congregation.
Mark 6:2a

Not only did He keep the Sabbath but He is Master of the Sabbath…
And He said to them, 
“The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.
So the Son of Adam is also Master of the Sabbath.

Mark 2:27-28

He was our example…walk as He walked…

The one who says he stays in Him ought himself also to walk, even as He walked.
1 John 2:6


His disciples, apostles?

They observed it…

Reason #7: His disciples observed it

But passing through from Perge, they came to Antioch in Pisidia, 
and went into the congregation on the Sabbath day and sat down.”
Acts 13:14

And when the Yehuḏim {Jews} went out of the congregation, 

the gentiles begged to have these words spoken to them the next Sabbath

… And on the next Sabbath almost all the city 
came together to hear the Word of Elohim.
Acts 13:42,44

And on the Sabbath day we went outside the city by a river, where there used to be prayer.
Acts 16:13a

“And according to his practice, Sha’ul {Paul}went in unto them,
and for three Sabbaths was reasoning with them from the Scriptures”
Acts 17:2

And he was reasoning in the congregation every Sabbath
and won over both Yehuḏim and Greeks.
Acts 18:4

Yeshua {the Messiah} said…

Do not think that I came to destroy the Torah or the Prophets.

I did not come to destroy but to complete. 
For truly, I say to you, till the heaven and the earth pass away, 
one jot or one tittle shall by no means pass from the Torah till all be done.
Whoever, then, breaks one of the least of these commands, 

and teaches men so, shall be called least in the reign of the heavens; 

but whoever does and teaches them, 
he shall be called great in the reign of the heavens.
Matthew 5:17-19

John tells us…
By this we know that we love the children of Elohim, 

when we love Elohim and guard His commands.
For this is the love for Elohim, that we guard His commands, 

and His commands are not heavy
1 John 5:2-3

I love Him.

Enough to obey.
Enough to observe.
Enough to honor.
Enough to identify.
It is not grievous.

It is a delight!

Written by my friend Christina at, “It Is Your Life”

How Do We Grow…Slowly or Swiftly?

Once we step onto the path to a new way of life, most of us expect our new life to come rushing to us as one outstanding experience. We tend to think in windfall terms, of suddenly being immersed in an avalanche of abundant blessings.

So does it happen that way?  Sometimes yes, but not usually, and for a very good reason. Windfalls of happiness can tend to be distorted, often bringing as much discomfort as comfort and as many questions as answers. Ask any lottery winner, which I’m not, and you’ll come to understand that a windfall can prove to be just as painful as the pain we are trying to escape.

Every problem you have, every lack and every limitation has a purpose or it would not be in your life. To expect these experiences to suddenly disappear without that purpose being revealed, is to expect to be cheated out of the good each experience brings. Instead of wanting them to quickly disappear, which is a form of resistance, we’re much better served when we simply ask what good they have come to bring to us.

You see, it is not an eradication of these problems, lacks and limitations you need, it is a new understanding. Were life changes to rush in, it would only deprive you of that understanding and leave you unprepared. Happiness never remains long, where a place for it has not been lovingly prepared.

Peace and acceptance of new thoughts and actions are more apt to arrive softly and without fanfare, like a gentle breeze wafting through an open window in the night. It comes upon us gradually, not in a fell swoop, but with calm and quiet consistency. This way, rather than looking up to suddenly find ourselves surrounded by unaccustomed abundance, we look up one day to marvel at how easily and effortlessly we grew into an abundant new life.

By all means, invite new changes to come into your life and do so daily; but do not expect them to rush at you, for in all likelihood, it will not. That would require a quantum leap in consciousness and very few of us are prepared for such mental leaps through time and space. Instead, be willing to trust that the values you are learning are flowing to you just as they should: in a time and manner in which you can most perfectly benefit from. In the book of Esther we see that Esther (Hadassah) took 12 months to prepare to be with her king, it was called a time of beautification.

Even now, as you read this, YHVH’s love and warmth is flowing to you like a gentle melody. Listen closely and you may hear its song. But you must listen for a whisper, not a giant rolling thunder.  Above all else you must trust that it is flowing to you in such a way that is divine. This is just as Yeshua says, a seed will grow up and blossom.

Mark  4:26-29:

And he said, So is the kingdom of God, as if a man should cast seed into the ground; And should sleep, and rise night and day, and the seed should spring and grow up, he knoweth not how.  For the earth bringeth forth fruit of herself; first the blade, then the ear, after that the full corn in the ear.  But when the fruit is brought forth, immediately he putteth in the sickle, because the harvest is come.


This article was originally written July 17, 2008.

13 Attributes of YHVH’s Mercy

I was on Tumblr website one day and I found a poster-like photo that showed the 13 Attributes of Mercy. Of course this piqued my interest, because it was one of the Typography posters and I love a wide variety of fonts, but I went on about the day. Since then I’ve read about this several times but kept walking away from it. Today I was finishing up some Drafts that I’d started on and ran across this one.  I didn’t completely ignore the interest I first had in this topic because I got this much written:

The 13 Attributes of Mercy are found after the incident of the Golden calf, when God threatened to destroy the people of Israel rather than forgive them (Exodus 32:10). Moses felt that Israel’s sin was so serious that there was no possibility of intercession on their behalf.  God appeared to Moses and taught him the 13 Attributes, saying: “Whenever Israel sins, let them recite this (the 13 Attributes) in order and I will forgive them. Thus this appeal to God’s mercy reassures us that repentance is always possible and that God always awaits our return.

Exodus 34:6,7

The 13 Attributes of Mercy are based on two verses in Exodus: “The Lord! The Lord! God, Compassionate and Gracious, Slow to anger and Abundant in Kindness and Truth, Preserver of kindness for thousands of generations, Forgiver of iniquity, willful sin, and error, and Who Cleanses (but does not cleanse completely, recalling the iniquity of parents upon children and grandchildren, to the third and fourth generations).

As I’m sitting here writing about all this it’s just occurred to me that I wasn’t thinking I’d learn this through my own writing. I can’t believe it, I am somebody, I am like Yeshua is. How could I be so wretched and ugly and sinful and have the same qualities that He does. How can I have gone through 32 years of adult life and not ever put this together. I really am part of our Messiah.  He really is in me, His blood too, no but His spirit is? I’m okay, I am acceptable. He loves me because I’m part of Him! I read what a friend said about not being status quo and I’ve never wanted to be just status quo, I want to be more!  I think I’m having a breakthrough here.  He’s not even just a part of me, Yeshua is IN me. I feel like I’m half frozen in Awe and my mind is in slow motion as I’m trying to describe what I realize.


Grandma’s Hands

Grandma’s Hands

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn’t move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat down beside her, she didn’t acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat, I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head
and looked at me and smiled. Yes, I’m fine, thank you for asking, she said in a clear strong voice. I didn’t mean to disturb you, Grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK, I explained to her.

Have you ever looked at your hands she asked. I mean really looked at your hands?

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all of my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer.

They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They dried the tears of my children and caressed the love of my life. They wiped my tears when my husband went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold our newborn daughter.

Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse. They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn’t understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

These hands are the mark of where I’ve been and the ruggedness of my life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when He leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ.

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma’s hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I thank grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.
(Author Unknown)