Fear Has Big Eyes

​Fear has big eyes.  It sees everything as a threat and so controls our thoughts and destroys our hopes. 

In this sense it becomes an idol.  

We invest it with meaning above everything else – including the Love that God has for us and what He gives us.  It directs our thoughts, makes our decisions and drives our actions.

It may slow us down but it is not a holy stillness or silence that allows for an encounter with God and an experience of His grace. 

Rather, it paralyzes us; prevents us from reaching out to the One who seeks for us at every moment. Instead of being lifted up by Love we remain earthbound; unable to break free of the moorings of our fears. 

Our vision becomes warped and we are prevented from seeing His Glorious Face.  

We are everything to Him and yet we minimize the King of the Universe.


A wonderful humility has taken possession of my entire soul. Like these sweet mornings of Autumn, which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the charm of existence in this place, which was created for the bliss of a soul, like He has for us all.. 

I am so happy, my dear friends, so absorbed in the exquisite sense of mere tranquility, that I never experienced before I took on the work of becoming Born Again.. 

I have never felt more incapable of a single task, outside the work my Abba has given me, than I have recently. And In this moment, I feel that I never truly honoured more what I love, who I love as I do now.


The Struggles

There are times in studying the Torah (first 5 books of the Old Testament) that we grasp a principle, it wrestles inside us with, ‘the flesh’ or our ego/self, and Self doesn’t want to be diminished by Spirit…so it causes all kinds of emotional trouble on the way out the struggles to diminish the ego, and replace it with Spirit.

He (Yahweh/God) Must increase, I (ego) must decrease .. and other people’s behaviours will be in conflict with us…but, we must see that for what it is… So as we let go of ego, the materialistic lifestyle, we’ll notice that in ourselves we have a closer relationship with the Father, a deeper understanding and that’s because we aren’t distracted by the world’s standards. We’ve got the baby steps going on, with the Milk and now it’s time to move forward in our big steps and chewing on the Meat of the matters.

This hasn’t been without much effort on our part. Coming to this desire for a more meaningful life and a more intimate relationship with Him, has required many things on our part. Taking charge of the choices we make or have made, in some cases, takes Courage, for me it was scary, for others maybe not so much.

The changes you’ll go through do not go unnoticed, especially by Yahweh. He sees and watches with an approving eye, whereas, old friends or acquaintances are feeling left out or rejected by who you have become. Be patient and gentle with them as much as you can be. Also, realize that some will absolutely Not understand or accept the change in you. These are the ones you must consider walking away from. Maybe at another time they will seek you out and desire to change the ways they have been accustomed to. I don’t want to use the familiar Ecclesiastes 3 as a mundane set of verses, there are many things in that chapter that can help us to walk through the storms, to bring great understanding, and share some compassion for those who are seeking to find relief.

This whole ego/self principle was hard for me, as many of the principles of Torah have been. I wanted to understand and I thought I was doing everything correctly, but over time, it became clear to me that I just wasn’t “getting it”. I had take time to explore what was going on. I pray for others that this not be such a hard task as it has been for me. It’s also not as easy as it might seem. Depending on your situation and age you may have acquired many years of hurt and disappointment, rejection, abandonment, abuse (in any form); all these things can affect our outward behaviours, it can also be from the actions of others around us. I struggle with a feeling of others being angry or upset with me, this is because I live in an environment of that and others reflect their feelings/thoughts toward me.

I’m constantly reminding myself of the verse in Isaiah 55:8 – “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the LORD. I use this reminder with others too, not only as an assurance of what Yahweh has for us. We can see this as a gracious off of peace, joy and release. It should be in vain to seek Yahweh/God, when now we can see that His words are calling out to us and showing us that His Spirit is within us.

Outside My Window

Tonight, outside the window in my living room, I’m blessed to watch the sun go down. Every evening when weather permits, I am honoured to have this place of peace within me..

I watch the rain and storms, lightning as it flashes across the sky and the thunder pierces the quiet of the day.

It won’t be long until the wintry winds fill the air with a numbing chill and icicles find a home from a drip off a rooftop or gutter or any number of things.

I can hardly wait until the snowflakes fall and their many shapes amaze my sense of wonder and the need to feel that icy magnificence of what our Creator designed in my hand or on my fingers.