His will or yours…

“Where He leads me, I will follow”… this is an old song from the baptist hymnal.

Have we made sure it is His leading and not our desire twist causing us to believe that it’s His.

Some I’ve known are quick to think because things went so smoothly that it had to be God’s will, and sometimes I would agree.

Other times, it’s His will and the path isn’t smooth or easy going.

A lot of times He’s taking us on a path that’s hard traveled, with tests and trials along the way, I have learned to appreciate and grow during the hard times too.

being available…

Great experience today that I wanted to share:

I saw this older woman walking in the heat and she had three heavy bags. I noticed she stopped walking and could barely stand. I turned the car around and told her to get in the van and I’d take her home. She was so thrilled and very grateful.

I introduced myself and she said I’m Nancy too 😊we both laughed and woohoo-ed each other.

Then she was talking about her family having so many birthdays in July and I told her mine was the 21st and she burst out laughing and I asked what day hers was and she said the 22nd.

We laughed and woohoo-ed again. By that time, we were at her home and she said that she was so blessed to meet me and that we had so much in common…what a great blessing for me after being told I wasn’t hired for a job I really wanted. .

It was awesome 🤗 I was so happy to meet her and be available to help her out. So many drove right past her and never stopped to offer help.

The biggest and best thing is that it Immediately turned my negative experience into a positive experience. I am a blessed Woman

Times of Change

There have been so many endings and surprise beginnings in my 57 years.

Paths I never dreamt of, opened up while other paths closed forever.
What I have discovered is a deepening closeness with YHVH – our Creator.

From relationship With Him I am gaining strength and sometimes I can place my feet where needed and not just live for survival.

Other times I felt that I was switching back and need to restart.

But always, I am being made new.

adjust your vision

Do you ever see something that looks like it’s strange or you think maybe you’ve not seen it before? Upon close inspection, however, you will notice that it’s quite normal and you’ve seen it hundreds of times before.

While cleaning the washroom one afternoon I spotted a lady’s face, it was in the vinyl above the bathtub. While I had never seen it before after living there for over 5 years, now I suddenly started seeing it and I could Not see it, even if I tried. I always find that humorous.

I woke up this morning thinking, I’ve never known who I am, not in my entire life.

Lately, things are becoming so clear to me, so clear in fact, that it’s hard to differentiate between whether I’m seeing through a glass or seeing the natural.

I’ve always believed in seeing the good in others; actually, it’s not as much an intended thought as it is a way of life for me. I just never saw that people are ‘inherently evil’, now I know that’s what the Bible tells us in Psalms 51: 5 – “In evil, I was formed in the womb and in sin, my mother conceived me.”

A few days later I saw the Torah Portion for this week and I’ll share it here…amazing how so many thoughts I have seem to be shared by others at the same time.

Seeing With Spiritual Eyes

Life Produces Fruit

The moment a branch is severed from the rest of the vine, it begins to wither and die. That will be our experience if we do not remain in Him, yielded to the flow of His life through us. Independence of heart and seeking to live our own life will sever us from the flow of His life, which is in the Vine. Our own life, our human natural life is by it’s nature, that of spiritual death, the end of which is destruction (John 15:6), the only life which we now have when we are in Messiah is that which is given by Him. A branch begins to wither the moment it is severed from it’s life-source (the sap of the vine), and the process of ‘death’ will continue until it is completely dried out. Green branches will not burn, but that which is dry, in which the sap has completely dried out, is that which is ready to be burned. A life cut off from the Vine will for a while be green enough to be grafted back in, but there comes a time when it is no longer possible to do it. When completely dead, then judgment is inevitable.

But, as we abide in Him, His life will motivate us and cause us to keep His commandments and precepts. Yeshua said, “If you keep my commandments, you SHALL ABIDE in my love, even as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in His love.” John 15:10

If we abide in Him, His life in us will live the life which will produce the fruit. Messiah in us will keep the commandments, for His life is in accordance with all the Father’s expectations. We will then have the love of God flowing out from us in all that we do, and love is the fulfilling of the law. By our own efforts we can never do this. See Rom.7:13-25

It is by the evidence of His life that the world will know that we are His disciples. The love of the Father will be in us and we will manifest that to each other (John 15:12,13; 13:34,35)

Yeshua said, “I have chosen you, that you should go and bring forth fruit” John 15:16.

We have been chosen for this purpose, the only condition is to abide!

The fruit of the Spirit is listed in Galatians 5:22-23. These are the qualities of God manifest in the flesh.

Living for Him

Almost everywhere I look I see people who are immensely suppressed and experience tremendous suffering, mainly because they conform to those around them just so that they can feel liked and accepted, afraid that embracing and honestly expressing their individuality might lead them to social ostracism. Their life is a slow torture, and with every step they take they feel the burden of conformity growing heavier and heavier on their shoulders. They sacrifice themselves just so they can please others, unaware that they are committing a type of psychological suicide.

Are you living the way you want to live OR the way others want you to live? 

I ask myself this question everyday, many times a day. Most of the time the answer is No, I’m not living the way I desire most to live.  If I had my druthers, I’d be living in a convent but reaching out to the community and still doing to the work of Yeshua as expressed in Matthew 25:31-40. I won’t continue living so others can make themselves dependent upon me…

When the day comes that I cannot reach out and help others, as it has recently then it’s time to make major change in my life. I’m able to help financially, but financial needs are one tiny aspect of what other’s need.  Many believe that need to be self-sufficient, independent but Yeshua never intended for us to live life alone, without Him.  He wants us to be Interpedently, in relationship with Him, interacting with Him, not trying to please others or ‘self’.

So what are you waiting for?

Think for yourself.

Tear off your masks.

Act responsibly.

Live your life.

Living Through the Painful Moments

So much of my past hurt me, I hid so much for so long and used food as a protection from more pain. Now, I’m addicted to food or at least carbohydrates. I used to love myself or at least I convinced myself I did. No one could hate me more than I do myself at times. The other day I walked past some people, mostly men, while some were catcalling others were grunting and snorting and yelling SUEY (sp?) at me! I felt so humiliated and normally don’t hold onto childishness like that, but I couldn’t let go, it hurt deeply and no one can know the depth of that pain unless it’s been done to them.

I’ve been doing really well with changing my thoughts and creating positivity in my life. Most of the time, no matter what you see on the outside, I feel like a beautiful dancing ballerina on the inside, know Yeshua’s/Jesus’ love and value of who I am, who He made me to be.

This past week was especially hard with things being so busy at work and I found out that a friend I loved dearly passed away a week ago. Another friend gone, another nearly gone…I think it’s okay to feel these things for a while but not to wallow in them, not to let negativity drag us down and keep us in a dark place.

This week, I’ve not turned to carbs so much, I can’t eat when I feel bad, nervous, upset. It just makes me sick to think about eating. It might be nice to feel that way all the time, but that’s not healthy living either.

Inner Holiness

What if we actually never changed anything but just revealed our truest, inner holiness buried within…our authentic selves that we cover up over our lifespan to protect us against the pains of physical reality?

Sometimes I think that we go through life trying to change ourselves and become new people…but what if we just stopped dead-short and simply directed our energy towards becoming our real selves, the people the Creator made us to be.

If you don’t want to feel broken anymore, if you’re tired and frustrated that you cannot seem to let go of the past, then STOP it now! Don’t allow your thoughts to constantly bring up the past. Don’t Wallow in the brokenness that you feel. The more attention you give to your past, to your brokenness, the more you make it an idol in your life…

Where is God in all of that?  You did say at one time that you wanted Him, didn’t you? When you knelt on the altar or in front of the first pew in church, you did say, “I give my life to you LORD, I give all my worries to you, I give you the past and the pain.”  Thankfully, we get do-overs and we can go to Him anytime and release all our fears, concerns and worries. Take a moment and take that huge weight off, the one you’re carrying on your shoulders, the one that looks like this 375 lb. iron blacksmith anvil.

Oh my goodness, our Father does not expect us to carry that day in and day out. We have to let go of that. I see the faces of people I know and they’re so filled with discontentment, anguish, bitterness and hopelessness. This is not who He made us to be. We don’t have to carry this ‘brokenness’ around with us. Give it all to Him, He wants to carry this for you.

I’ve lived that life for many years and it got me nowhere, sure I became a stronger person, but my past is not a blessing to me, because I didn’t know how to let it go. I idolized it for so many years, it was all I could think of and then everything became worse and all of that turned into self-pity, it turned my ego loose and was the entire focus for every choice I made. Soon, my life was centered around me, myself and I….that person is no longer welcome in my life today. I’m working very hard on letting of “self” issues, not focusing on them. Lose weight you carry on your shoulders, lose the weight of the world, lose this blacksmith anvil and give it to Your Father, who wants it, but He doesn’t want it for you.