being available…

Great experience today that I wanted to share:

I saw this older woman walking in the heat and she had three heavy bags. I noticed she stopped walking and could barely stand. I turned the car around and told her to get in the van and I’d take her home. She was so thrilled and very grateful.

I introduced myself and she said I’m Nancy too 😊we both laughed and woohoo-ed each other.

Then she was talking about her family having so many birthdays in July and I told her mine was the 21st and she burst out laughing and I asked what day hers was and she said the 22nd.

We laughed and woohoo-ed again. By that time, we were at her home and she said that she was so blessed to meet me and that we had so much in common…what a great blessing for me after being told I wasn’t hired for a job I really wanted. .

It was awesome 🤗 I was so happy to meet her and be available to help her out. So many drove right past her and never stopped to offer help.

The biggest and best thing is that it Immediately turned my negative experience into a positive experience. I am a blessed Woman

The Lover of my Soul

The Lover of my Soul

He created me and cares for me, he tells me I’m without fault or blame, without blemish, even though I make mistakes, it’s okay, I won’t be punished for it. He tells me and shows me love and warmth and protection with each new day…

His name is Yeshua (Hebrew for Jesus)..and he sees my struggles and loves me through them all. He never gives up on me. I have made my decision…Yeshua is For me, not Against me. I want Him more than anything else.

You see…it’s the perfect love story and I live to tell of it. He loves me so I can love Him and no matter my struggles I can always live and reach out to others.

All the years I’ve spent thinking and disallowing myself to be whole; because I talked myself into believing, that my mistakes keep me from being whole.

In the meantime, negativity and self-pity found a stronghold in my mind. I’m closing my mind to those things, never to rest in me or on my tongue again.

I want to devote my life to Him like many others have and help others in the ways they have.

Blessings

adjust your vision

Do you ever see something that looks like it’s strange or you think maybe you’ve not seen it before? Upon close inspection, however, you will notice that it’s quite normal and you’ve seen it hundreds of times before.

While cleaning the washroom one afternoon I spotted a lady’s face, it was in the vinyl above the bathtub. While I had never seen it before after living there for over 5 years, now I suddenly started seeing it and I could Not see it, even if I tried. I always find that humorous.

I woke up this morning thinking, I’ve never known who I am, not in my entire life.

Lately, things are becoming so clear to me, so clear in fact, that it’s hard to differentiate between whether I’m seeing through a glass or seeing the natural.

I’ve always believed in seeing the good in others; actually, it’s not as much an intended thought as it is a way of life for me. I just never saw that people are ‘inherently evil’, now I know that’s what the Bible tells us in Psalms 51: 5 – “In evil, I was formed in the womb and in sin, my mother conceived me.”

A few days later I saw the Torah Portion for this week and I’ll share it here…amazing how so many thoughts I have seem to be shared by others at the same time.

Seeing With Spiritual Eyes

Like-Minded People

Sitting in the room with all the like-minded, broken, bruised, torn apart people just like me. Set Apart.

What are those words?

Why those words?

Yeshua bled is why and He’s why our unique creation exists; all individual, flawlessly created, not one being like the other.

Identical twins aren’t even the exact same.

Why did He chose me to be there.

He put me there against all the odds that were impaling me.

I have these voices in my head (negative thoughts), they’ve been there for so many years beckoning me to hear their music, to follow every note and keep in tune. And I did, because I knew no differently.

I could barely think of a time when the whispers were louder than this calling out of who I thought was me.

The darkened days, the gloom, the sorrow, that infinite dark cloud shadowing over me with each step I take, each breath.

Every chance there was, so was the darkness.

Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

This verse goes through my mind many times. some days, sometimes only once is all I need.

Living Through the Painful Moments

So much of my past hurt me, I hid so much for so long and used food as a protection from more pain. Now, I’m addicted to food or at least carbohydrates. I used to love myself or at least I convinced myself I did. No one could hate me more than I do myself at times. The other day I walked past some people, mostly men, while some were catcalling others were grunting and snorting and yelling SUEY (sp?) at me! I felt so humiliated and normally don’t hold onto childishness like that, but I couldn’t let go, it hurt deeply and no one can know the depth of that pain unless it’s been done to them.

I’ve been doing really well with changing my thoughts and creating positivity in my life. Most of the time, no matter what you see on the outside, I feel like a beautiful dancing ballerina on the inside, know Yeshua’s/Jesus’ love and value of who I am, who He made me to be.

This past week was especially hard with things being so busy at work and I found out that a friend I loved dearly passed away a week ago. Another friend gone, another nearly gone…I think it’s okay to feel these things for a while but not to wallow in them, not to let negativity drag us down and keep us in a dark place.

This week, I’ve not turned to carbs so much, I can’t eat when I feel bad, nervous, upset. It just makes me sick to think about eating. It might be nice to feel that way all the time, but that’s not healthy living either.

Inner Holiness

What if we actually never changed anything but just revealed our truest, inner holiness buried within…our authentic selves that we cover up over our lifespan to protect us against the pains of physical reality?

Sometimes I think that we go through life trying to change ourselves and become new people…but what if we just stopped dead-short and simply directed our energy towards becoming our real selves, the people the Creator made us to be.

If you don’t want to feel broken anymore, if you’re tired and frustrated that you cannot seem to let go of the past, then STOP it now! Don’t allow your thoughts to constantly bring up the past. Don’t Wallow in the brokenness that you feel. The more attention you give to your past, to your brokenness, the more you make it an idol in your life…

Where is God in all of that?  You did say at one time that you wanted Him, didn’t you? When you knelt on the altar or in front of the first pew in church, you did say, “I give my life to you LORD, I give all my worries to you, I give you the past and the pain.”  Thankfully, we get do-overs and we can go to Him anytime and release all our fears, concerns and worries. Take a moment and take that huge weight off, the one you’re carrying on your shoulders, the one that looks like this 375 lb. iron blacksmith anvil.

Oh my goodness, our Father does not expect us to carry that day in and day out. We have to let go of that. I see the faces of people I know and they’re so filled with discontentment, anguish, bitterness and hopelessness. This is not who He made us to be. We don’t have to carry this ‘brokenness’ around with us. Give it all to Him, He wants to carry this for you.

I’ve lived that life for many years and it got me nowhere, sure I became a stronger person, but my past is not a blessing to me, because I didn’t know how to let it go. I idolized it for so many years, it was all I could think of and then everything became worse and all of that turned into self-pity, it turned my ego loose and was the entire focus for every choice I made. Soon, my life was centered around me, myself and I….that person is no longer welcome in my life today. I’m working very hard on letting of “self” issues, not focusing on them. Lose weight you carry on your shoulders, lose the weight of the world, lose this blacksmith anvil and give it to Your Father, who wants it, but He doesn’t want it for you.

 

Loving Yourself

You cannot hate your way into loving yourself.

Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful.
Telling yourself that you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential.
Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.

I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who others think you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change.

You are enough just as you are. The Hebrew word that helps me is Dayenu and it means, It is enough, so it is enough that you someone that the Father made.

Woman of Courage

I found this on a facebook timeline and wanted to share:

I believe that we have to continue to speak things to ourselves and trust in them.. Declare them over all those doubts..
You are what you believe you are.

Tell yourself..

I am courageous..
I am determined..
I am unstoppable..
I am victorious..
I am love..
I am gifted..
I am anointed..
I am blessed..
I am successful..
I am healed..
I am beautiful..
I am whole..
I am confident..
I am forgiving..
I am grateful..
I am generous..
I am strengthened..
I am well-able..
I am favored..
I am God’s masterpiece..
I am not who I was.. I am who I am becoming..
Less of me.. More of Him..

Keep speaking life to yourself..
and don’t just say it..
Trust in it..