being available…

Great experience today that I wanted to share:

I saw this older woman walking in the heat and she had three heavy bags. I noticed she stopped walking and could barely stand. I turned the car around and told her to get in the van and I’d take her home. She was so thrilled and very grateful.

I introduced myself and she said I’m Nancy too 😊we both laughed and woohoo-ed each other.

Then she was talking about her family having so many birthdays in July and I told her mine was the 21st and she burst out laughing and I asked what day hers was and she said the 22nd.

We laughed and woohoo-ed again. By that time, we were at her home and she said that she was so blessed to meet me and that we had so much in common…what a great blessing for me after being told I wasn’t hired for a job I really wanted. .

It was awesome 🤗 I was so happy to meet her and be available to help her out. So many drove right past her and never stopped to offer help.

The biggest and best thing is that it Immediately turned my negative experience into a positive experience. I am a blessed Woman

adjust your vision

Do you ever see something that looks like it’s strange or you think maybe you’ve not seen it before? Upon close inspection, however, you will notice that it’s quite normal and you’ve seen it hundreds of times before.

While cleaning the washroom one afternoon I spotted a lady’s face, it was in the vinyl above the bathtub. While I had never seen it before after living there for over 5 years, now I suddenly started seeing it and I could Not see it, even if I tried. I always find that humorous.

I woke up this morning thinking, I’ve never known who I am, not in my entire life.

Lately, things are becoming so clear to me, so clear in fact, that it’s hard to differentiate between whether I’m seeing through a glass or seeing the natural.

I’ve always believed in seeing the good in others; actually, it’s not as much an intended thought as it is a way of life for me. I just never saw that people are ‘inherently evil’, now I know that’s what the Bible tells us in Psalms 51: 5 – “In evil, I was formed in the womb and in sin, my mother conceived me.”

A few days later I saw the Torah Portion for this week and I’ll share it here…amazing how so many thoughts I have seem to be shared by others at the same time.

Seeing With Spiritual Eyes

Like-Minded People

Sitting in the room with all the like-minded, broken, bruised, torn apart people just like me. Set Apart.

What are those words?

Why those words?

Yeshua bled is why and He’s why our unique creation exists; all individual, flawlessly created, not one being like the other.

Identical twins aren’t even the exact same.

Why did He chose me to be there.

He put me there against all the odds that were impaling me.

I have these voices in my head (negative thoughts), they’ve been there for so many years beckoning me to hear their music, to follow every note and keep in tune. And I did, because I knew no differently.

I could barely think of a time when the whispers were louder than this calling out of who I thought was me.

The darkened days, the gloom, the sorrow, that infinite dark cloud shadowing over me with each step I take, each breath.

Every chance there was, so was the darkness.

Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

This verse goes through my mind many times. some days, sometimes only once is all I need.

Living Through the Painful Moments

So much of my past hurt me, I hid so much for so long and used food as a protection from more pain. Now, I’m addicted to food or at least carbohydrates. I used to love myself or at least I convinced myself I did. No one could hate me more than I do myself at times. The other day I walked past some people, mostly men, while some were catcalling others were grunting and snorting and yelling SUEY (sp?) at me! I felt so humiliated and normally don’t hold onto childishness like that, but I couldn’t let go, it hurt deeply and no one can know the depth of that pain unless it’s been done to them.

I’ve been doing really well with changing my thoughts and creating positivity in my life. Most of the time, no matter what you see on the outside, I feel like a beautiful dancing ballerina on the inside, know Yeshua’s/Jesus’ love and value of who I am, who He made me to be.

This past week was especially hard with things being so busy at work and I found out that a friend I loved dearly passed away a week ago. Another friend gone, another nearly gone…I think it’s okay to feel these things for a while but not to wallow in them, not to let negativity drag us down and keep us in a dark place.

This week, I’ve not turned to carbs so much, I can’t eat when I feel bad, nervous, upset. It just makes me sick to think about eating. It might be nice to feel that way all the time, but that’s not healthy living either.

Not a Moment & Surrendering

“There’s not a Moment in which God does not present Himself under the cover of some Pain to be Endured, of some Consolation to be Enjoyed, or of some Duty to be Performed. All that takes place Within us, Around us, or Through us, contains and conceals His Divine action.”

“Surrendering is Intentionally laying down the Power I Possess. And have I Considered that the power I lay down is often More powerful than That which I’m laying it down in front of? Therefore, I would be Wise to recognize that Surrender is less the Absence of Power and more the Presence of Fear.”

Forgiveness Trumps Negativity

If you’re living a life of negativity, it’s time to kick it out the door and move forward.

I didn’t see for a long time that I was, it wasn’t that I chose to live that way, I was affected by many things in the past. Almost everyone is. I have moved on from that, learned to forgive myself first, then Others.
Forgiving ourselves helps us to be free from negativity …there are also other ways that can be utilized.
I believe one of the hardest things we are called to do in our lives, is to forgive ourselves, In all truth and being completely open with our Creator.
A lot of times I knew I had forgiven others but I could never let that nagging feeling go and I knew something in my thinking wasn’t correct. My mentor pointed out to me that I likely had not forgiven myself and when explained I knew it to be true.
Many times we can’t see our own positions or shadows. If approached in gentleness and love this is something that can be changed in your lives too.

Woman of Courage

I found this on a facebook timeline and wanted to share:

I believe that we have to continue to speak things to ourselves and trust in them.. Declare them over all those doubts..
You are what you believe you are.

Tell yourself..

I am courageous..
I am determined..
I am unstoppable..
I am victorious..
I am love..
I am gifted..
I am anointed..
I am blessed..
I am successful..
I am healed..
I am beautiful..
I am whole..
I am confident..
I am forgiving..
I am grateful..
I am generous..
I am strengthened..
I am well-able..
I am favored..
I am God’s masterpiece..
I am not who I was.. I am who I am becoming..
Less of me.. More of Him..

Keep speaking life to yourself..
and don’t just say it..
Trust in it..