The Struggles

There are times in studying the Torah (first 5 books of the Old Testament) that we grasp a principle, it wrestles inside us with, ‘the flesh’ or our ego/self, and Self doesn’t want to be diminished by Spirit…so it causes all kinds of emotional trouble on the way out the struggles to diminish the ego, and replace it with Spirit.

He (Yahweh/God) Must increase, I (ego) must decrease .. and other people’s behaviours will be in conflict with us…but, we must see that for what it is… So as we let go of ego, the materialistic lifestyle, we’ll notice that in ourselves we have a closer relationship with the Father, a deeper understanding and that’s because we aren’t distracted by the world’s standards. We’ve got the baby steps going on, with the Milk and now it’s time to move forward in our big steps and chewing on the Meat of the matters.

This hasn’t been without much effort on our part. Coming to this desire for a more meaningful life and a more intimate relationship with Him, has required many things on our part. Taking charge of the choices we make or have made, in some cases, takes Courage, for me it was scary, for others maybe not so much.

The changes you’ll go through do not go unnoticed, especially by Yahweh. He sees and watches with an approving eye, whereas, old friends or acquaintances are feeling left out or rejected by who you have become. Be patient and gentle with them as much as you can be. Also, realize that some will absolutely Not understand or accept the change in you. These are the ones you must consider walking away from. Maybe at another time they will seek you out and desire to change the ways they have been accustomed to. I don’t want to use the familiar Ecclesiastes 3 as a mundane set of verses, there are many things in that chapter that can help us to walk through the storms, to bring great understanding, and share some compassion for those who are seeking to find relief.

This whole ego/self principle was hard for me, as many of the principles of Torah have been. I wanted to understand and I thought I was doing everything correctly, but over time, it became clear to me that I just wasn’t “getting it”. I had take time to explore what was going on. I pray for others that this not be such a hard task as it has been for me. It’s also not as easy as it might seem. Depending on your situation and age you may have acquired many years of hurt and disappointment, rejection, abandonment, abuse (in any form); all these things can affect our outward behaviours, it can also be from the actions of others around us. I struggle with a feeling of others being angry or upset with me, this is because I live in an environment of that and others reflect their feelings/thoughts toward me.

I’m constantly reminding myself of the verse in Isaiah 55:8 – “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the LORD. I use this reminder with others too, not only as an assurance of what Yahweh has for us. We can see this as a gracious off of peace, joy and release. It should be in vain to seek Yahweh/God, when now we can see that His words are calling out to us and showing us that His Spirit is within us.

Outside My Window

Tonight, outside the window in my living room, I’m blessed to watch the sun go down. Every evening when weather permits, I am honoured to have this place of peace within me..

I watch the rain and storms, lightning as it flashes across the sky and the thunder pierces the quiet of the day.

It won’t be long until the wintry winds fill the air with a numbing chill and icicles find a home from a drip off a rooftop or gutter or any number of things.

I can hardly wait until the snowflakes fall and their many shapes amaze my sense of wonder and the need to feel that icy magnificence of what our Creator designed in my hand or on my fingers.

Patience…God Isn’t Finished With Me Yet

My Abba has so much patience with me, if I would only practice it for myself. I especially love this quote,”God’s patience is infinite. Men, like small kettles, boil quickly with wrath at the least wrong. Not so with God. If God were as wrathful, the world would have been a heap of ruins long ago.”

I was pondering what it takes to become more patient and my friend said, it comes from maturity. He Must Increase in us and we MUST decrease in the things that hold us back…specifically issues with ego, being self centered and not Yeshua/Jesus focused.

Each day I remind myself that today is the day that He made not the day I made. I choose not to live ‘in the moment’ but to live in His Plan and not focus on Nancy-self but on others and Yeshua.

We cannot Mature if we are not in relationship with Him.

Outside my Window

Tonight, outside the window in my living room, I’m blessed to watch the sun go down.  Every evening when weather permits, I am honoured to have this place of peace within me..

I watch the rain and storms, lightning as it flashes across the sky and the thunder pierces the quiet of the day.

It won’t be long until the wintry winds fill the air with a numbing chill and icicles find a home from a drip off a rooftop or gutter or any number of things.

I can hardly wait until the snowflakes fall and their many shapes amaze my sense of wonder and the need to feel that icy magnificence of what our Creator designed in my hand or on my fingers.

Do You Really Know?

If people truly knew what Resurrection meant, they wouldn’t need a celebrity to tell them, they wouldn’t be sitting around waiting on the End Times to get here or the Tribulation, they would be living their life for Jesus/Yeshua and cherishing a relationship in Him. Resurrection isn’t only about when Jesus died for us, it’s about when we die to HIM, when we surrender to Him completely.