Relegating…

For years I’ve relegated this woman, this other part of me that I had tucked away to the corners in the rooms I go to; oftentimes, leaving her to her own devices. Never wanting her to have attention or allowing her to get close to many people.

While on the outside, I lived in denial and pretended that I was this cheerful and happy person when deep down I was worse than miserable, I was deeper than the deepest pit that I had ever seen.

I have to forgive myself for all these years, for things I didn’t know I had to forgive myself for…I think I sound like, 
Romans 7:15 for that which I do I allow not: for what I would do, I do not ; but what I hate, that do I. 16-If then I do which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
This is what Paul wrote about himself. I feel like this is how I am too.